Journey to the Lake

Well today I woke up, bags packed and a smile on my face. Little did I know that would change. I got alittle bummed when I found I could'nt ware my flashy clothes. I said it was ok but I was hurting. I cryed in the car when Jim was at the bank. Know one ever knew. I wanna keep my flashy appearence for various reasons.

Noone ever noticed me befor but when I put on an outfit that POPS and shines, I get a difforent look from everyone. I love it, I love the attention. But thats how people come and talk to me. If I was plain and boring i'de never get noticed. I'm a nobody without my style, well vertualy.

Anyway, so I talked to Jim about what I wrote above, then I bursted into tears but could'nt say why. I wasn't sure why. Maybe this is so important to me, and I can't make any arguements cause i'm trying to be perfect. Im trying to make a good impression so people will like me.

Part of the problom I have is that I repress my feelings to plaster a false sence of happyness that does'nt exist. I'm realy hurting inside, and I realy wish I had someone, a friend to listen to me. And NOT a perent...MOM. I really don't wanna bum Jessica out, I love her too much to force all of my probloms on her. Love her like a sister. Maybe thats why I broke down today.

Well drove to the like, gotta fishing license and felt better. By the time we got to the lake it was 4:50 and the look of things was going well. Once we unpacked Me and Dylin went lake swimming. I went on the water trampoline. I was a king, then a princess, then King Kong. Then I went fishing with Jim on the small boat. Caught two northern pikes. I held one and talked to it, then I let it swim freely away to eventualy be caught again.

Now i'm going to sleep, love you all...goodnight.