The Look Of It

I guess I can say that I'm my biggest critique. I can't honestly say I'm happy with the way I look, or act sometimes for that manner. As obsessive as I am of myself, I have done allot of thinking. I have a list of stuff that I feel is ugly about myself.

• My nose has a curve thing that I hate cause it makes my look like a witch.




• My nose is cruckid (it is noticeable.)




• I got a bump on the top of my nose.




• My ears are too small.




• My mouth is too small.




• My hairline is too high.




• My hair is too thin.




• My spine is misshaped severely.




• I'm too fat.




• My butt is too big.




• My skin is dry.
  



• My teeth are yellow.




• My feet are too small.
  

These are things I see when I look in the mirror. I can hide some stuff, with the clothes I ware but other things I can't. I can change and fix things later in life though. I plan to fix the problems I see with myself.

Tempers of a Supressed Boy

Many people know me as a kind, calm, overall together person. I may seem happy and care free but that's because I'm repressive. To the point were I could cry but would rather smile. Or be filled with rage and laugh. I can't say I don't like to make a scene for attention every once in a while. But mainly in public I'm seemingly happy.

Sure I'm aware its mentally unhealthy but I have reasons to why I hide my true emotions. First off, I feel less likely to be loved by others if I'm always sad. Secondly, I don't want people to feel sorry for me. That would be stupid. Lastly, I need to fake happy because it gives me a sense of real happiness, when needed. I'm not continuously sad all the time.

But at home I guess my emotions "build up" and I sometimes, well..."explode." I can get pretty crazy too. I once threw a broomstick through my bedroom door. This is hard for allot of people to imagine, I think... Their are pressures that I'm working through as well. I usually just yell allot. Not anything physical anymore. I think I'm getting better...I don't know? I do have good intentions.

My Room: A Messy Wonderland

People have said in the past: One mans junk is another mans treasure. Well I think of myself as a treasure hunter in theory. First off, I love clutter. I'm not happy if I'm away from my cluttered environment to long. Second, I enjoy getting new stuff, as do we all. The problem is it's very hard for me to get rid of stuff. I'm always thinking, "Oh, I can use this later," or "Oh, I can give this to someone rather than waist it by throwing it away." These methods are, come to find out, NOT EFFECTIVE!!! As you can see by my bedroom, I got a problem. Recently I've been throwing stuff away but I feel sad and guilty doing it. Of course I have a whole theory about what happens to trash after you throw it away. I'm also thinking that somewhere theirs a poor child who wants something that I am throwing away. It's such a waste.

My room is currently having a problem, it has been for years. People offer to help clean it but I'm embarrassed of what they might find. My room is my sanctuary, my secrets lay open. That's why I've closed it off to everyone ells. It makes cleaning my room overwhelming and hopeless. It's something I'm struggling to concur. My room must be cleaned.

Christmas 2010

Christmas, a time for families to come together and rediscover love. Getting presents is nice to. That's ideal stuff. Christmas at our house is hectic. This year is different really. The holidays are going by fast. Heck, Christmas is tomorrow!

I plan to go see Steam Powered Giraffe tomorrow but I don't know if I'll make it. I'm helping Jessica move into her new house Sunday. Its Beautiful, and well... huge! A lot is going through my mind these days which obviously means more blogging. YAY!!!

Getting lots of stuff!

• The Simpsons Season 13
• A $162.00 Wide Brim Fedora Hat (C-Crown)
• A Bunch Of New Jackets
• The Michael Jackson Tapes (book)
• Moonwalk (by. Michael Jackson) (book)
• Apples to Apples (best game ever!)
• Much More...

Winter Happenings

It's 1/3 of the way throught the school year... goes fast. It's finaly Winter Brake...YAY!!! I'm gonna start it off with a bang! Tomarrow I'm going to my first (not counting comic con events) official Meet Up. Their was 4 before that i'm not counting. Those take place in the hilton at night after comic con. But tomarrow I will unite with my friend Josh and who ever ells is their and it will be magical. It will depress me afterward but it's worth it.

Today at school we did secret santas and I got people I Tunes cards. I am incapable of picking gifts, especialy girl gifts. I got super amazing gifts though. I think people noticed that I like Michael Jackson...LOL. I got the book "Michael Jackson: The Magic, The Madness, The Whole Story. I also got Michael Jackson: The Dangerous Tour DVD. Yay

Michael

Listening to the album Michael is amazing! There is some great songs with good beats and powerful ballads. I LOVE the song "Hollywood Tonight" so much. I have my opinions about the album. I'm not totally for the fact that they took demos and turned them into finals. It is, I'm almost sure, but not 100% sure that it is Michael singing on some of the tracks.

It was crazy trying to buy it, I wanted to buy it at midnight but Wal Mart wouldn't be open that late. So I went to get it before school today and Wal Mart didn't have it yet. Finally when I went to school I sent mom to get it. She bought it somewhere ells.

My Website

As of Dec. 6, 2010 my website has officially been open to the public! I'm very happy to finally have a website, a free one at that. Thank-you Google, I'm still mad at you though. It's entitled "The Michael Jackson Kid" because thats the title people have given me. It's what they call me. I'm trying to find a way to make a comments section or maybe a forum so people can post ideas and comments. Maybe questions as-well. I'm promoting Michael Jackson's new album called "Michael" on the site which will be released Dec. 14th. The site has a tribute to Michael Jackson which consists of photoshop projects that I put together, so their all one of a kind. I also have a page with links to my dance and song videos. It has a pictures section for the random few that would want to look at pictures of me, lol. That about covers it... I'll of course add to it later and make it more appealing to a wide audience of family, friends, and fans.

A Night Of Christmas Song

Saturday was the West Hills High School choir's winter concert! In other words, my second stage performance. I wasn't worried at all, which was a nice change of pace. I think it's the comfort of being with lots of other people. Later this week I gotta sing a Christmas song in front of the class with these to crazy lady's i know. That's out of my comfort zone, but I gotta force myself or I'll never go any ware in life. I can't be anti-social...though I am. The concert had the biggest audience yet! I filmed it but can't yet use the footage, YET.