My Room In The Works...

Well I bought "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" today. Believe it or not, I bought it with loose change I found while cleaning my room. Now I can stop scoping HBO for it to come on. I'm very excited.
I tink the last time I cleaned my room was early 09' so it's about time I do it again.

Just Another Friend Requst...Nothing New There

You know I'm having what I hope to be a mini depression and not a "Comic Con Depression." It's the same symptom. The paine between my stomach and chest, in the middle. The emptiness that wants to be filled with Love and friendship. Again I feel alone.

I'm always looking for traits I like in people and charactors. Kindness, funny, giving, selflessness, confusion, dark, hopefull, comforting, ect... I have taken traits that I like for myself as well. If I had to create a friend I'de have the details down to the voice. Which I've come to like The voice of Ash from The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Among other things. I have to be percise or I wont get what I want.

In the past week I've become obsessed with the movie, "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" and it's making me sad that I can't watch it again. Their is a charactor I'm obsessed with. One I wanna be friends with. Mr. Fox's son, Ash. Who I feel I relate to in the fact that both of us feel outcasted. Of course I choose to be an outcast.

I want a friend who will keep my secrets. Someone who has time for me. Someone who shares my interests. And who is around, not through the internet. I'm in an unusual kind of lonely pain. I'm calling out, if you match the decription and your reading, by all means...email me.

wolfey_puppy@yahoo.com

Nature VS. Nurture

Nature VS. Nurture

Night of the Dances

Tonight was the Winter Formal School Dance. The biggest dance until Prom. Of course I have no money to go to any dances right now so I didn't go. From what I herd, Jessica had a wonderful time at the Winter Formal. I'm so happy for her. I wonder if their will eventually be pictures.

Early today I took a trip to walmart in the mall, dressed in my Billie Jean outfit. I really love the looks I get from people. I kind of bring out the memory of Michael Jackson and it makes me happy. I am trying to promote myself as well. I do wanna' be an impersonator one day. I seem to be off to a good start. A lady even took a picture of me in WalMart, which isn't unusual. I kind of wish I had a little more Paparazzi. Not a lot though. I'm working my way into limited fame.

Tonight at 8:00 I attended the free church dance. It's the first one I've been to this year. I don't really care for modern music. I know when I show up..."dressed for the occasion" someone will request a song just for me. Every single time. This time, I was sitting down anticipating for a MJ song to come on. All of a sudden I herd that famous base lick. I jumped up to the site of 80% of the dancers looking my way. As I ran center of the room I herd the disc Jockey, "Let's have a Michael Jackson dance off...oh wait, it looks like Michael Jackson is in the building tonight."

By the time he finished talking I had already started the routine and a crowed formed around me. I fallowed the choreography closely. Kicking out left, then right, moving my arms accordingly. I tossed my hat off with grace, after all, it was $162.00. I herd a girl go "I want that hat!" This was the first time I had a full circle around me. Of course at times I was improving and I was running out of dance moves. I was worried, thinking people were gonna louse interest. I was panicking hoping that the instrumental part with the moonwalk would come soon. some of the crowed chanted "Bobby! Bobby! Bobby!" and others turned away out of probably boredom. Finally it came time. I moonwalked about five times. None of those Moonwalks got any reaction from the crowed. It was dissapointing but pure magic at the same time.

The song was over. I went on with my dance experience glowing with pride toward my moment of fame. Nobody really approached me though. I really do enjoy a good conversation. I wish people took interest in my life. It has been "eventful" which putting 2 and 2 together, may explain why I'm so odd. The way I think is really screwed up. My old scout leader told me how much he was amazed by my performance. That made me beam brighter.

The rest of the dance I sat around, ate Ice Cream, which was nice after the performance. I went in one of the halls and started practicing the "Beat It" choreography. I started practicing beat it Thursday. The base routine is easy. To tell the truth, I was hoping they would play it. My night was fun. Looking forward to Balboa Park tomorrow. Much LOVE, Bobby Wolfey.

The Future is... Coming Too Fast

I often imagine what I'll do in the future. I thought of many scenarios and situations. I wanna talk about some of the scenarios.

• Well I picture myself as a digital photographer working job to job. Creating beauty and magic through art.
• Selling some of my songs to famous artists, and do that as a career.
• Singing in a Band.
• Training and becoming a Michael Jackson impersonator. were I will then join the circus as a Michael Jackson Impersonator.

Just throwing some ideas out there. They all seem accomplish-able without a high school diploma which I have NO chance of getting.

Australia

I once again MUST mention, I am very over obsessive. No, that's an understatement. Extremely over obsessive. That mixed with the fact that I'm stubborn creates determination. I don't in any way change my mind easily. I've decided for sure that I'm going to live in Australia. To my knowledge their is many similarities between here and there. I personally LOVE the accents and lingo. Today I realized the Australian exchange students were here. It's only second period and instead of doing my work on the computer I've got distracted by looking up things about Australia. I still gotta look up political stuff about Australia. I don't know how the government and justice system work their, let alone who runs the country. These are important things I need to know. Well I guess that's it for now. I may do an interview later.

The Character In My Mind

You know, I've said it many times and I'll say it again, I am a furry. The Furry Fandom deals mainly with anthropomorphic animals. Which means animals with human characteristics. It's really just another subculture like steam punk. I guess I discovered I was a furry the first time I saw our school mascot Wolfey. I thought he was the coolest thing in the whole world. I started creating a story in my mind. I started becoming obsessed. I felt really happy around Wolfey and after a game I'de be sad. Wolfey started to become my imaginary friend. I needed one and still do for times when i'm lonely. Like at this moment. In my mind Wolfey is the moddle friend. He always has time for me and he understands me. I know allot of people don't understand my weird obsession. Hell I barley understand it. I'm bugged every time I see pictures.

I want Wolfey, the outfit I mean. I'm determined to get it. Now that the school is getting a new one, I got a chance. I want to be Wolfey, so I will. I like to be other people because I don't like myself. Wolfey has become a person to me, in my mind. Also over the years he has become a part of me, which is also hard to explain. I do know one thing for sure, I'm Wolfey's biggest fan!

Jealous

I have to say that I'm in no way perfect. I'm filled with so many flaws that I can't count them. I'm fighting human nature to try and fix some of them. It makes me very sad that I can't control what I think, and how I think. I can't control my emotional balance. I find myself filled with anger and I keep repressing it. I'm easy to anger, mainly at home. Part of my constructed nature holds something I'm not proud of and it's hard for me to admit this. I gotta say, I'm filled with jealousy, a lot of jealousy.

I'm jealous of my brother Sean who keeps getting dads stuff. Pool sticks, a banjo, and license plates... you know, cool stuff. All I got was a leather jacket. Theirs a trench coat in moms closet that both Sean and I want. I don't quite fit in it but I love it. I could fit in it if I lost a few pounds. I do know that I'm not letting Sean have it. Well, unless mom buys me one. Sean's not the only one I'm incredibly jealous of.

I'm sadly jealous of my best friend. I love Jessica and I would never want to hurt her. I'm jealous that she's getting a good year pass to Disney Land. I can't afford to go to Disney Land. I was jealous when she was dating Bethany. I'm jealous that theirs potentially someone new in her life. When I can't date because I of personal reasons I can't talk about. I'm jealous that she has new friends and that I'm not her best friend any more. I'm jealous that we are lousing interests in the same things and drifting apart as time goes by. Not Only am I jealous of the last thing I said but I'm also terrified.

Jessica has been their through some of the hardest times in my life. I relay am scared to lose the closest person in my life. The one to which I can tell anything. But I can't keep being the pesky burden in her life. Especially now that she's grown up and has a life. I'm still hiding in my comfort zone to scared to face the music and get a life. It's my own fault I Love Jessica, she's the greatest friend anyone could ever hope for. We are drifting slowly apart in our great friendship and It's something that's gonna happen whether I like it or not.

Events and Pressure

Reciently I've realized I need to register to volenteer at Comic Con 2011. The registration said it will be open January, it's not up yet and its giving me panic attacks secse yesterday. Not only do I gotta rush to worry about Comic Con, but also Clockwork Vaudaville, the Steam Powered Giraffe show. Ticket for that are on sale now and I got no money. The least of my worries is the Furry Convention. I already have a hotel room for that. I'm sharing with a friend. I just gotta pay for the ticket. Comic Con is the most important event of the year to me. I can't imagion how angry and depressed i'll become if I miss it, especialy during it. As for Steam Powered Giraffe, I MUST go to that, I am the camera man.

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

Recently, I've caught a glimpse of reality, I'm almost an adult. On June 11, 2011 I'll turn 18. I'll lose insurance, have to pay rent, and overall fail school and have to "try" for a job. I have no problem with that, as long as I don't gotta do mornings. That's the main reason I dislike going to school now. Oh, and collage, there's another option. I wanna study photography, more so. I don't know if I gotta get a full set of classes, in which case collage is out for me. I also wanna publish my songs, something I don't know anything about doing. My big dream at the moment is to become a Michael Jackson Impersonator. Of coarse I'm too fat to do it yet. I plan too live at home in my big room, paying rent to mom. Yeah, sounds nerdy but I don't give a damn.

Most of the things about growing up bug me. Adolescence is an enemy of mine. My voice has deepened enough to were it's hard for me to sing my own songs. I feel my voice might even get deeper. My face is slimming out OK though, that I'm happy about. Course my head is to small, but I know how to hide that. With fluffy hair and a nice hat. My facial hair grows too fast, I wish I could make it so it wont grow anymore. I'm OK with hair anywhere ells, but not in my nose. That would be Gross.

Deep down I feel like I'm 12 years old. Ah, the good old days. But now I'm 17, and hopelessly wishing I was younger. In Truth I feel it went by to fast. In a way I feel a little robbed due to the death of my father when I was 7. Then the abuse of my uncle. I sorta wish I could have a due over. I would have learned discipline, maybe, it's actually something I never learned. That's why I'm lazy in multiple aspects of my life. Oh, I almost forgot to mention the tragedy that happened most recently. The death of Granny, who was my best friend, (along with Jessica). That didn't hit me as hard as I thought it would. I think it's 'cause I knew it was coming for a long time. That, and I new how much she was suffering. Maybe I wouldn't change the past. Most likely no, I wouldn't.

But I'm hurdling toward adulthood. Ive already hit an iceberg and I'm sinking without a life boat.