Today was a rainy yet good day. I went and saw Steam Powered Giraffe's last show at the Zoo. I went on a magic adventure with Jon, the 3rd one we've had. There has been lots of great adventures in these past few months at the zoo. Michael Reed is the Hula Hooping Master! They got rained out 2/4 sets but it was more time to spend with them. When the last set got rained out all the SPG fans sang Brass Goggles, which I think was a nice tribute. They have hit a new level of fame and I can't wait to see what happens next.
At the moment I'm laying in bed sad, thinking about what comes next... Steam Powered Giraffe at the Zoo was the last thing I had going for me. Now I'm alone with no people to be around. Sure Jessica, Bethany, or Kim every once in a while but they have their own hang ups. I miss school which starts tomorrow, well today because it's after midnight. I need to be around people or i'm just not happy. I was happy going to the zoo and knowing I had friends their to go to. My relationship with Michael is the strongest and my relationship with Jon has gotten allot stronger in the past two weeks, I admire Chris the most and David is like the older brother I always wanted. I really haven't got to know Sam at all and I feel bad about it. It's not that I forgot about him, I just don't know how to start.
This a little bit reminds me of when they used to play Balboa Park, then left my life for six months when they stopped playing there. Now that they are gone a second time I don't know when I will see them again. I can't not miss them, they mean allot to me, they will never know how much.
I hate not knowing what is gonna happen. What's next in life aside from the job I can't get. I got nothing going in my life... I thought about starting a band but I don't know how to do that. I'm not a smart person. Also the music I write isn't exactly the popular type. People these days listen to trashy not music like rap and heavy metal. I also need a license witch I can't get without a job because of insurance. It would be so much easier to go back to school where I was loved as the Michael Jackson Kid. I would give anything to go back... I still wouldn't do any of the work though.
The future not only has lengthy things that occur but quick unexpected things like Dads death. That kind of thing can happen at any time and I don't know how many more I can handle. I'm already emotionally confused and mentally destroyed. I'm surprised i'm sane after what life has given me. I guess I gotta turn bad into good somehow.... someday....
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